Posts Tagged ‘personal developement’

The missing piece is the solution

When life isn’t going well, people may look towards outside factors that may provide answers. Or, others become quick to blame themselves when things get out of control and solutions are not readily available.

How does one find the happy medium? How do you understand your own problems in connection with what you want out of life?

That’s the $64, 000 dollar question, or rather, in 2008 inflation dollars – let’s up it to $1 million.

What’s a Problem, Anyway?

Certain problems can be fixed and even anticipated before they happen. Others require the help and input of people to come to a viable solution. While, in some cases, there are situations that are just too big, too massive and way beyond just one person or a group of people.

They require a mental shift, action and, perhaps, even creating laws.

But in the meantime, for the sake of YOU the individual, how do you grapple with the ambiguity of life’s choices and understanding your own power for change?

This question is especially impenetrable for those of you who are the self-admitted professionally clueless. You are constantly questioning your own power and ability to be a catalyst for movement.

Problems involve commitment to a desire. Whether the desire is a change of career, getting married, having children, going to graduate school – whatever the case, if you have such dilemmas, you’ve inevitably committed yourself to the pursuit of change.

The only real “problem” is implementing the action that creates the change – not the problem itself.

Problem Solving: The Difficult Made Simple?

Decisions can be simple – but they cannot always be quick, fast or easy. Putting perspectives in black and white helps remove some of the cloudy gray that permeates some of life’s more puzzling scenarios.

One way to make your problems simpler is to create a question that forces you to choose: What is good? What is bad? What is right? What is wrong? Is the answer yes or is the answer no?

The tricky part of understanding problems is that they are not one-size-fits-all. Everyone solves their own problems differently and this can be especially hard when you are faced with a multitude of solutions.

But, the real trick resides in being readily in tune with your own unique values and goals. Only then can you can decide if the solution is good or right and if the answer is really yes

In the end, it’s what you want that determines the outcome.

If you are still deciding what values and goals truly define you, however, then you don’t have any problems to solve (now).

In reality, you are struggling with the idea of YOU. If you don’t know what that is (yet), then abandon those burning questions in the meantime and work on getting to know yourself a bit better.

The Actual Decision: Do, Don’t or Die:

If you rather not do it – then don’t. If you prefer to pursue it – then do so. And, if you want to die instead, well you’ve gotten yourself in more trouble than this post can reasonably handle.

While some problems are not as easy to simplify as others, obviously, they all take time. 

Our generation has grown a lot more impatient with decision making (in some ways good, in some ways bad). We’ve sometimes let impatience impede a (better) decision. When this happens, the disappointment can be overwhelming. 

There’s nothing wrong with waiting for better opportunities to appear or making sure you are sure about what to do. 

Other times, we second-guess everything we potentially do, further immobilizing ourselves into inaction. How do you find the balance?

When something is right for us, we usually make things available for it to eventually happen.

Depending, nevertheless, on some enigmatic force to tell you what steps to take is thinly disguised indecisiveness.

Seize all 24 hours of the day and do something.


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reporter-at-typewriterFor those of you familiar with Dan Savage, his latest column features some pretty basic career advice to a college co-ed with an unconventional career problem. In short, the writer expresses losing passion for her current major of study (journalism) and has decided she rather pursue online fetish modeling.

The “Kinky Co-ed” asks Dan Savage what’s the best way to approach her family with the (possible) career change.


Who would have thought job advice from a famed sex advice columnist would be so…blah?

In usual Savage fashion, he plainly responds by explaining that the newspaper business and the world of fetish modeling (actually, he says porn) are equally suffering a downturn. This is further complicated by the the democratization of information and creative content online.

The willingness and ability to do stuff for free (and therefore, broadcast the product via the internet) has changed the landscape of professional developement. Anybody can read the NY Times headliners with the click of a mouse, similarily, there are just as many people freely publishing (fetish) photos online.

Savage remarks that she’d be better off going into a career with more job security like banking or real estate.

Dita Von Teese would be floored.

But (in this case) Savage is right. Well, not exactly. He has a point – but he’s squashing the poor girl’s dreams way too soon. It’s the same premise that revolves around the mindset of attempting to make hundreds of dollars from blogging.

Although, there are exceptions to the rule and some people do make a good living from just having a blog – it takes time, work and lots more time.

Whether or not you are in college, when grappling with the idea of changing majors (or careers) be innovative, curious and open to reinventing yourself. And, most of all, be smart. Kinky Coed is obviously dismissing all the possibilities that could come from her journalism training.

Embark on a complete shift when professional passion wanes, this will inject it with energy while you discover its edge.

Combining two seemingly unrelated topics and making them relevant is a great way to start. Perhaps Kinky Coed could chronicle the life of aspiring fetish models (using her journalism skills) while setting up shop for her own racier interests?

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